(song: Shopping/artist: Pet Shop Boys)
One of the down sides (and there are very few) of losing weight is the expense. After I lost my "Turbo Jam 39", I took a lot of my clothes to our awesome tailor Tony. My theory being that its cheaper to get things fitted rather than replace my entire wardrobe. You can imagine how jazzed he was about my weight loss, since it meant that I spent a several hundred dollars every new season. In December 2010, I took some winter clothes in for fitting. Tony told me how great I looked and that I didn't need to lose anymore because "a woman needs her curves". Did I mention that Tony is a man? A black man. The thought of me without hips broke his heart. Fast-forward to May 2011 and a return to Tony's lair with a pile of summer clothes that he had previously altered from a size 16 to a 10. I also had some never-worn stuff that I bought at end-of-season sales last summer - at last year's size 10. Tony is floored by my progress. At once impressed and sad that I have no boobs. But he's pumped that I've chosen him over a new low-budget wardrobe. This time, I cull through every single garment I own and really give thought to the things I'm keeping. Many items don't make the cut this time. Some of them never got worn after the last round of fittings so I decide to put them in the "donate pile". This time, I'm only keeping what I'll absolutely wear. This results in a 60-pound box of clothes, which I sent to a women and children's shelter in my hometown.
I also finally started shopping for my improved figure. My friend Golnaz (who has a most excellent blog called Persian Bites that you should totally be reading) turned me on to my new favorite retail chain, Anthroplogie. Until now, I had gazed upon the pages of the Anthropologie catalog wishing I could pull off the looks I coveted. She gently nudged me toward buying something new for myself and boy am I glad she did! I discovered something: Shopping is super fun when you're not fat! On average, I'm a size 6, which I have to tell you, feels AMAZING! I walked into a Lululemon store to look for a new sports bra and the sales lady said, "Let's see, you look like you're about a 6." I had forgotten for a second that I AM a size 6. It wasn't that long ago that she would have had to say, "What size are you?" Because no one wants to hear, "You look like you're about a size SIXTEEN..."
So now, my closet is full of new and tailored clothes that I have every intention of fitting into FOREVER. Lord, maintenance is hard, but I damn sure am not letting all the money I gave to Tony go to waste!
|June 2011 - This little number has been altered three times by Tony. Like my pet buck?|
|August 2011 - Sporty new Lucky jorts paired with a size SMALL blouse from Anthropologie. Also, I'm blonde now. And my son has too many shoes...|
Back in 1996, I was living on the Upper West Side and I had a blind date with a guy named Aaron. He was an okay-looking Jewish attorney, with a great sense of humor. We had dinner and drinks and I remember thinking, "This is going great. I'll totally go out with him again." So, as he's walking me back to my dorm, he says to me, "If you spent just three months working out, you'd be a total knock-out." Yeah. Super guy right? He followed that little nugget with, "I can tell by the way you dress, that you're self-conscious about your body." For my big date with Aaron the Douche-bag, Esq., I had chosen my favorite Banana Republic dress - one that I saw Monica wearing on an episode of Friends, thank you very much! I thanked him for his advice and asked not call me again. I never forgot how terrible he made me feel. I hope Aaron's wife has an iron-clad pre-nup in her favor...
|Yo Aaron, How ya like me now? P.S. Suck it.|