The Only Thing I've Ever Seen of You Was a Commercial Spot on the Screen

(song: Movie Star/artist: Harpo)

Well hello everyone! Hope you all survived the Thanksgiving holiday. I will be writing a post about (my) holiday survival, but that can wait.

I have exciting news...

The BRAZIL BUTT LIFT®  infomercial has hit the airwaves, and I made the final cut!!

Look at me mom, I'm on TV! In a bikini. On a rotating turntable. Talking about my butt. Okay, this is not exactly the big break my parents had in mind, 16 years ago when I left Georgia in search of stardom in the Big Apple. And, yeah, my poor son will probably be humiliated when this video surfaces during his presidential campaign in 2052, but hopefully this will be the biggest scandal he's faced with when that time comes. At least they airbrushed mama's tramp stamp! 

Check out my heartfelt testimonial:
 (Thanks to Mayhew Breen Productions and Beachbody® for letting me post this)

Okay, which part did you laugh at the most? "I'm the me that I wanted to be." OR "It's like a heart!" It's a toss-up for me. I know I sound like a total cheeseball ('cause I am), but I was so very sincere in that interview! Although you only hear and see me, I was answering a series of questions from Marc, the director. He's great at making "regular" people feel comfortable on-camera and I was honestly answering his questions about my experience, about the workouts, about Leandro, about my old butt, my new butt, my abs...a giggle here...a "I can't believe this is my butt" there...and that's a wrap! I especially liked the footage of me exercising "in the comfort of my own home".  I ALWAYS workout in full make-up with a dorky smile on my face. Okay, I do in fact have the dorky smile on my face when I exercise, and I often workout in full make-up (Don't judge me. You think I'm going to the Butt Master's class in my "crunchy Brooklyn mom" face?!), but I never look as good as infomercial Alison when I'm working up a sweat.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Since I was the nerd that did Leandro's Tummy Tuck DVD religiously - every day, I got a tiny extra snippet:


So there I am. Infomercial infamous! And although being in the infomercial was never the reason I auditioned for the test group, it is totally the icing on the cake. A very honest, sincere and hysterically funny portrait of my incredible three-month journey.

And here's one tiny segment for the benefit of my former classmates from The American Musical & Dramatic Academy. In this group workout scene, you will find me ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK. (Anyone that was in a dance class with me knows why.) Just look right over Leandro's head - several rows back - and you'll see the tall, brunette, wearing a light blue tank-top, spastically waving her arms in the opposite direction as the rest of the group. It's a nano-second long, but delightful nonetheless. 

Now that is classic Alison. The Butt Master makes dreams a reality, but it when it comes to my rhythm, even he can't deliver miracles.