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Formerly fat stay-at-home mom - turned fitness enthusiast and workout infomercial test-subject. Ive lost 60 pounds since 2009. My blog tells you how I did it and what I'm doing to keep it off. I hope you'll be inspired and have a laugh or two...

Friday, February 25, 2011

Don't Call My Name, Don't Call My Name...Leandro

2.25.11 - Day Three

I feel so much better this morning!  I slept well, no more jitters, my soreness is manageable. I think I can do this. Drink breakfast. Kiss son. Out the door.

Thirty-minute run on the treadmill with The Paul Butterfield Blues Band rocking in my ears. I'm so ready for this. I'll be awesome in class today!

Time for our 3rd workout with The Butt Master. He's really cheerful today. It's Friday; the room's abuzz with TGIF glee. Leandro leaves the lights on. Weird. There's some guy standing in the back of the room with a pen and notepad. Not sure if he's observing us or Leandro - or both. I hope he's not blogging about me! Cue the Brazilian music and away we go! 

I am positioned between two beautiful and statuesque blonds. One of them has an accent so she's automatically the prettiest girl in class. And even though they have the requisite gluteal flaws, they have flat bellies and are a thousand times more coordinated than I. I feel like Chris Farley in that skit with Patrick Swayze. 



Suck in your gut..but don't forget to breathe. My flailing arms are throbbing. Class was way more dancy today. I'm terrible at coordinating my arms and legs. Leandro corrects me a couple of times. I'll get better, I promise. At one point, he says - to me - "You have to get your arms..." I nod and smile and keep going. Please don't kick me out for sucking so bad.  The usual body-numbness and tingling sets in at the 40-minute mark. I jog in place for a second - we're strictly forbidden to just stop. Jog it out. Breathe. Breathe. Jog it a little more. Now go! 


10:55AM. Time for push-ups. "No knees! On your toes! We can go to 11:30!" No! I'll die! Plus, I'm paying a sitter.  (Oh yeah, I need a babysitter two days a week, so the money I'm spending on childcare during my "free" 8-week transformation is yet another incentive to push myself harder.) Get on your toes bitches! I need to get home before I go over $60 for this session! Once again, I fail to do even one measly push-up. I do some sort of snake-like movement that propels me upward, but I'm neither fooling myself nor Leandro into thinking I'm actually doing push-ups.  I should really practice these at home...

We go into plank. My entire body is shaking, throbbing, seizing. "Down. Go into child's pose." I collapse, bury my face in my towel...and sob. Thankfully, the lights are off now. The music is still loud and my face is so red that no one knows tears from sweat. I compose myself quickly and continue stretching. You'll be better next week. Don't give up. Don't give up. You can do this.

Leandro gives us our work-out instructions for the weekend. Two routines from his DVDs, to be done back-to-back. Please say we don't have to workout on both days. "If you know need to lose more weight, you do both days. You listen to your body." Ugh. My body is saying, "What the F lady!?" I know I'll workout both days. I also know it won't be nearly as hard as the past three days.

I grab my personalized cooler containing my meals for the weekend. Only two months to go...


Sweaty lady with a gym bag and cooler. Still smiling...



1 comment:

  1. hahaha, I love your writing style Alison!! And I agree that the girl with the accent must be the prettiest...

    G xx

    ReplyDelete