(I know my fellow musical theater nerds will appreciate the title of this installment.)
Okay, so I get the notice about the Brazil Butt Lift® audition in NYC. Brazil Butt Lift® (or BBL as I'll be calling it) is yet another program in the Beachbody® family. Created by Brazil native Leandro Carvalho, it's a workout program designed to target the ass and all it's many complex parts. (How's that for dumbing it down?)
The first step in the audition process is to submit an online questionnaire, and of course, attach pictures of your butt. Why not? I title my submission "FORMERLY FAT BROOKLYN MOM NEEDS A BUTT LIFT!", you know, so they'd notice me and forget about all the other big-bottomed gals. I include a little info and say things like, "I'd like to lose another 15-20 pounds and really focus on my "hip region". I've got thunder thighs and I'm ready to see those saddle bags shrink and get my booty higher and tighter! (Or just high and tight...)" and "This test group would be an amazing opportunity for me to keep myself focused on "Phase 2" of my body's transformation and to show real women that nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it and commit to yourself." That'll get 'em for sure!
We were also told to attach a "lifestyle" photo. Though I have know idea what this really means, I assume they didn't want to see me in my usual frumpy mom garb, but rather a more dolled-up version of myself, so I send this photo.
|My "lifestyle photo"|
I also had to attach a picture of MY BOOTY, which I will spare my blog followers. It ain't pretty...yet.
I send the application and wait. Four days later, I get an email inviting me to audition in-person with Leandro "The Butt Master" Carvalho! I'm so excited and terrified when I read "
|Two of the moves I did in the audition. No, I did not expose my milky-white midriff.|