If You Don't Mind, I Will Beat on Your Behind

(song: What's the Matter Here/artist: 10,000 Maniacs) 
I'm adding the credit for my blog titles since I've gotten a lot of questions and feedback about my blog titles. Most of you have figured out that they're song lyrics. Some of you were naive enough to think I came up with them on my own. Bless yer hearts...

HI EVERYONE!! Have you missed me? Sorry for not blogging as regularly as I have in the past. We had a bit of nice weather here in New York, which means I can't justify leaving my sweet son in front of the the TV while I blog about my ass. And then we had back-to-back 5-day visits from my son's grandmothers. One of whom is the quintessential doting grandma that always arrives with tons of presents, never says no and gives my son every sugary nutrient-free snack he wants. The other, is my mom. They both stay in our office/man-cave, so my time at the computer is limited when we have guests. But now the Grandmas are gone, the crappy weather is back and I'm nestled at my desk, ready to tell you all about my experiences with Leandro in the final phase of the Brazil Butt Lift test group!

Wednesday 5.4.11 - Day 1 in The Butt Master's lair
This was the day that Leandro and I discussed the plan for the month and agreed that my thighs and abs are the most crucial areas of focus for the next 30 days. My extension partner Marissa* is there and we are pumped to get started and so excited we're "the chosen ones". Until we learn, there is yet another chosen one. Courtney* from the 8:30AM group is going to start training with us next week. Yay for Courtney, bleh for Marissa and me since Leandro's studio is tiny and only seems to have two of everything, but we smile and pretend it's not annoying.

Leandro, once again, tells us that he NEEDS TO SEE OUR BODIES. I heard his multiple times during the 9.5 week test group but was never willing to expose myself in a public setting. But now, it's just Leandro and his exclusive group of still-overweight-but-very-hardworking-and-had-amazing-results-in-the-first-two-months "winners", so I give the butt Master what he wants and I take off my damn shirt. Here you go Butt Master! Here's my flabby abs for you to see! Happy?! Marissa follows my lead and the two of us suck in our guts and get to work.

He starts us on a cardio warm-up - Marissa doing side shuffles on the treadmill, me doing jumping jacks on the trampoline while using 5-pound weights for a simultaneous shoulder press. This is my first experience watching my belly in the mirror while I exercise. It feels like day 1 of the test group. Every time I jumped, my belly fat rippled upward and practically made a boinging sound. 
 The good thing is, having to see my half-naked body, really makes me engage my abs and I am starting to see more definition as a result of this daily humiliation. So, while I hate the sight of my bouncing flesh, seeing it makes me work harder.

After 5 minutes, we switch stations and go for five more minutes. Then it's time to get serious.

First he puts each of us on the Cybex cable-weight machine for a series of tortuous thigh and butt work. (Because of our still-ample thighs, we learn that the Cybex series will be a part of our workout every day that we're with Leandro.) 

We started with the inner-thigh. 20 pounds for 50 reps.
Then we do the same weight and reps for the outer-thigh on the same leg.
Then we face the machine and do 40 reps at 30 pounds of straight-leg arabesques. (Sorry, couldn't find a picture.) Then we switch the weight to the other leg and repeat the series. My ass was throbbing after the arabesques! The good news is, we only have to do that series once. The bad news is, after we did it, we had to do traveling lunges with 25-pound dumbbells! I gasped and said I hadn't used more than the 15-pound dumbbells we used during the group class. Leandro smiled and said, "35s are coming honey!" Ay ay ay! 

We walked the length of the studio four times. My arms, hands and shoulders were shaking uncontrollably but I pushed hard and, thanks to my exposed belly, really used my core muscles to help maintain balance and form. I was dripping with sweat at this point. 

Then it was time for some light ankle weights for the side-lunge-knee-up series that we've done many times in the past. Those were followed by my favorite - the curtsy lunge. Then we got the mats out and put the super heavy weights on our ankles and got down to business with some leg lifts on the floor. This included inner and outer thigh lifts on our side: 15 double-count, 15 single-count, 30 pulsed. Straight leg lifts: 15 double-count, 15 single-count, 30 pulsed. Bent knee kick-backs: 15 double-count, 15 single-count, 30 pulsed. Marissa and I were moaning and sweating and so happy when it was over. Now that we can't hide among a group of 20+ people, we can't get away with half-assed form or prolonged water breaks. Thank God we only see Leandro three days a week! We're really going to need the recovery time....

5.12.11 - Extension day 3. Sweaty and bare-bellied..and really sucking it in...

*Names changed. Can't have these girls suing me when my blog gets published then optioned for a Lifetime movie...