The Final Countdown!

(song: The Final Countdown/artist: Europe)

If you're a fan of Arrested Development, you're totally picturing Gob doing his "illusions" right now...

Okay, I'm behind on my blogging so allow me to bring you up-to-speed. I started writing this post on June 1st, so humor me and pretend it's June 1 will ya?

June 1, 2011 - Wednesday with The Butt Master
There's a rumor going around that I'm obsessed. No shit! This was going to go one of two ways: either I worked my ass off and learned to live a healthier life or, I half-assed it then celebrated the end of the test group with a tall beer and a bag of pork rinds. I am so glad the former happened!

Well, I just finished my 3rd of 6 final workouts at the Butt Master's lair. OH MY GOD am I sore!! As he did at the end of the full class test group, Leandro has upped the ante and is pushing us HARD. Not only has he increased our weights and reps, our sessions are now a minimum of 90 minutes. Tuesday's session was nearly two-hours long. We start with a cardio circuit: Me on the treadmill, Marissa on the trampoline with light dumbbells, Courtney doing step-ups on the weight bench. Every 4 minutes, we switch stations until we've each done all of them. Then we do a circuit of three sets of walking lunges with 25-pound weights, squats with 25-pound weights, split squats with 25-pound weights, dead lifts with 25-pound weights. On the third set, I had to drop to 20-pound dumbbells because my forearms were throbbing and my palms were numb. After that brutal circuit, two of us go on the Cybex for inner and outer thigh work, while the third girl gets more cardio time on the treadmill. And then there's some on-the-floor with ankle weights stuff, some lunging-in-place with ankle weights, some jumping rope, squats with a medicine ball, some abs on a Bosu ball stuff...not all on the same day, but a mix of of these exercises are peppered into our three days with Leandro. And of course, I am still doing Leandro's ab DVD at home....every day.

6.2.11 - Thursday
Another 90 minutes of non-stop ass busting work! My hamstrings and inner-thighs were so sore when I woke up. I had to take ibuprofen before I got to Leandro's studio because I was practically crippled. Thirty minutes rolling my thighs and butt on the foam roller and 800mg of Motrin made it possible for me to crank out another brutal workout. After our session, Leandro sits us down to discuss our weekend homework and reiterate the importance of the next several days leading up to THE END. He tells us to try to workout twice a day because we all "need as much work as possible". He tells Marissa and Courtney to do extra cardio and tells me to really focus on sculpting. This makes me feel awesome. Really! He's been telling me to do as much cardio as possible throughout this test group, and now he's saying to focus more on the sculpting. I know he means to do both, but I also know he sees that I'm committed to cardio homework so he doesn't have to say it anymore. It's like getting to a higher level in a video game!

The last thing he tells us is that he still needs to see our bodies. I know exactly where this is going...he wants us to wear shorts. I am over the self-consciousness of working out with a bare midriff, but now I have to trade in my cute, ass-shaping, thigh-sucking Lululemon leggings for some short shorts so the Butt Master can see how much cellulite he's working with on these last few days. And so, I headed right to the sporting goods store for a new pair of shorts. What the Butt Master wants, the Butt Master gets...