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Formerly fat stay-at-home mom - turned fitness enthusiast and workout infomercial test-subject. Ive lost 60 pounds since 2009. My blog tells you how I did it and what I'm doing to keep it off. I hope you'll be inspired and have a laugh or two...

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Gravity Always Wins. And It Wears Me Out.

3.20.11 - Sunday: Week in Review

Hello my faithful followers! Sorry to have been away for so many days, but it's been a tough week. And frankly, I want to keep you wanting more, so why waste time with boring daily snippets when I can command your attention for a full five minutes with a longer weekly roundup? 

As of yesterday, I've worked out for 13 days straight. Today, I rest and reflect. Sorry Butt Master, but I'm not a machine. Yet.

Here we go!

Monday, as you may remember, was a craptastic day all around. Class sucked, then I ate my way through my kid's pantry like a starving Tasmanian devil. I exchanged some emails with Jessica, Leandro's co-trainer, and she explained that it's normal for the mind to start "shutting down" at about the 4-week mark. Apparently my head is all, "I'm not digging this change in diet and I want you to self-sabotage by stuffing every snack you can find, into your mouth", but my body is all, "Hey, this hurts, but let's keep pushing and see if we can't get that pregnancy flap and those dimply thighs to hit the road." On Monday, my mind won that little game. And although Monday was by far the worst day, I have to admit that throughout the week, I "nibbled" a lot. A bite of my kid's dinner here, a handful of pretzels there,  a non-sanctioned string cheese etc. I just couldn't stop myself and I feel very certain that the next weigh-in will reveal my infidelity. 

Oh, it's also worth mentioning that I - being in the "girls who are bigger and need to lose more weight" group - have been assigned homework. Yep, in addition to the class I attend 5 days-a-week, I am to add one-hour (minimum) of cardio, 4 days-a-week. So that's a minimum of 9 hours of exercise a week, unless you count weekends, which we're supposed to be doing - that would make it 11 hours of exercise per week. Minimum. I think they're trying to kill me.

Tuesday: What a difference a day (and 760 extra cheat calories) makes! I went into class with a positive attitude and had a great workout. I think the cheating somehow, renewed my vigor.  I also decided to bring some highly caffeinated green tea with me. I drank it twenty minutes before class and felt like it really gave me the extra energy I needed. I'm typically so hungry by class time since I eat breakfast very early, and don't get another meal until after class, when we get our delivery of food for the rest of the day. There's such a long stretch between breakfast and the next meal. I need SOMETHING. The green tea, with a little 1% milk (I don't care if it's not on the diet, I need milk in my tea and coffee!) seems to be a great solution...for now.

Also, because I'm such a loyal test subject, before class, I climbed 58 floors on the big stair climber - which got my heart rate up, my sweat pouring down and warmed up my gams.  And later in the evening, I straight-up cheated on Leandro with my old friend Chalene. I knew I had to get my cardio homework in, and I just didn't want to see The Butt Master's face until class the next day. So I dusted off the Turbo Jam DVDs and ran back to Chalene's loving arms. I only did a 30-minute workout, but it was Fat Blaster and, if you're familiar with Chalene's workouts, you know this one is a high-impact cardio workout. I feel like it counts. And of course I wore the weighted gloves! It increases the intensity of the workout by 96%!

Wednesday: I wasn't able to do any cardio warm-up before class because Monica from 5 Squares, the company that cooks our meals, came to talk to us about our diet.  She's very thin and looks a lot like Camille Grammer, minus the freakish face-lift and fake boobs. She talks a lot about the ingredients and the menus and then opens the floor for questions. Some whiny girl from the earlier class complains incessantly about the repetition of some of the meals.  I notice that she's quite "heavy-set" so I assume she, like me, is in the group of girls that has more calorie restrictions. No one said it would be easy fatty! And you knew what you were signing up for, and you can leave any time. So shut your pie hole and eat your damn broccoli! Leandro motions to Monica that it's time to start class, and she scoots out, but not before she tells us we'll be getting her cookbook at the end of the program. This makes me very happy. I've been faithfully recording everything she makes for us, so I can continue to eat balanced, healthy meals when this is over. Diet is of the utmost importance to me at this juncture. I have a proven track-record of success when it comes to exercise, but my eating habits are bad. Really, really bad. I admit that I am bored with the program's food at this point, but I like that I am now accustomed to eating 5 small meals a day, rather than 3 or more giant, nutrient-free meals...plus lots of snacks. I am a classic over-eater with a raging snack habit.  I eat out of boredom, not hunger. So many of my habits are changing as a result of this experience. Monica's cookbook is one I'll actually use, instead of relegating it to the cookbook cemetery above my stove.

Today brought another intense workout. Exhausting as usual, but it felt great. During the plank series  at the end, I kept repeating the serenity prayer.  I'm not a Jesus freak or anything, there's just something key about that "the courage to change the things I can" line that helped me stay in that brutal pose for a full minute. Almost all of the time, when I stop a movement, it's because I want to stop. Not because I need to stop. I'm learning to ignore my impulse to quit. I'm pushing harder and getting stronger as a result. 

After class, I picked up my son at school and then headed right to the park for a three-mile cardio walk. Since the Bugaboo doesn't handle like a jogging stroller - especially when weighted down with a toddler, back pack, gym bag, and food cooler  - I wasn't able to jog much, but I kept a brisk pace and worked up a good sweat. My cardio homework was done for the day.

Thursday: THE STEP IS BACK. Oh god, please don't let me fall. I take a deep breath and decide that this step will not defeat me. And damn if I didn't kill it in class today! But before class started, Leandro approaches me and asks how my week is going. I immediately confess about my cheating. I told him all about Monday's transgressions and how I am struggling to resist nibbling at home. He looks disappointed but says, "Monday is over. You gotta wake up and say 'Today I'm gonna be better and push harder' and forget about yesterday." I love you Leandro. I just want to make you proud. He is very happy to hear that I've done two days of additional cardio. I didn't tell him I cheated on him with Chalene. Shhh...

Class was great. My new green tea regimen is working out well. I had so much energy. We used 18-pound body bars on the step and worked our shoulders, biceps and backs while also killing the legs. I had great form...most of the time. I still suck at push-ups though. We do this thing where you straddle the step while holding the body bar above our head, drop to a dead-lift placing the bar on the step, jump our feet behind us, then do two push-ups and then reverse the series of movements to return to standing. I can't do a push-up to save my life. It's even harder when the Butt Master is screaming "lower!" while my bird-like wrists buckle under my body's weight. Despite that, I felt so powerful after class. Powerful, but spent.

Because I am an awesome wife, I went home and prepared a beer soaked corned beef brisket for my husband's annual St. Patrick's Day dinner. (I know, I'm awesome right!?) Our house smelled of yummy beer and meat for hours. I confess, I had two bites of the meat when it was done, then two bites of the delicious sandwich my husband made for his dinner. C'mon, meat boiled in beer...I HAD to have a taste!!
My lucky St. Paddy's Day t-shirt

Friday: Thursday night we get an email telling us that there's going to be a friendly team competition. Just when I thought I had seen the last of the neon yellow wrist band. I suppose it's an effort to bolster morale and encourage camaraderie, but I am a 35-year-old mom, while most of my classmates...are not. Suffice it to say, I'm not really into team spirit. We are instructed to come up with "costumes" that represent the spirit of Brazil. Of course, we need to be able to workout, but we should look "festive". I can not control the rolling of my eyes as I read the email.  It then says there will be prizes for the winning team. The last time I won a prize, I had to exercise non-stop for 90 minutes. I'm not falling for that one again. On Friday, my teammates are abuzz with excitement. There's talk of black leggings with a colorful thong worn OVER them, feathers, face paint, bright sports bra ONLY, dark black eyeliner and bright red lipstick. Face paint?! Don't any of you bitches sweat? I immediately tell them that I will not be exposing my midriff in class. I mostly stayed quiet while the Brazilian-pride brainstorm went on. I'll look for a yellow, blue and green shirt and wear my black, skirted running leggings. That is all.

As class begins, I'm a little distracted by the girl next to me, who is wearing a bright blue, shiny unitard. I can't stop myself from giggling because, well, it's ridiculous and it totally reminds me of Charlie's (from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia") green man costume. 



 And I can't help but think about how hot she must be. Also, as one of my classmates pointed out, isn't she just inviting a yeast infection? Plus, it just looks like a giant blue body condom! Eh, to each her own. Maybe she's blogging about the girl with the flabby white thighs that alternates the same two pairs of shorts all week...

Class was a killer today. We did 4 sets of traveling lunges while holding 15-pound dumbells. I counted my steps and calculated that we did approximately 124 traveling lunges. Between sets of lunges, we did squats with the weights, for a total 100 squats. Painful but will ultimately be worth it. The most rewarding part of this, is that when everything is flexed, I get a glimpse of legs without saddle bags. The muscles are forming, the fat is slowly melting.

At the end of class we are told that from here until the end of the program, we will only do sculpting. No more cardio. The last time I heard this, we only got LESS cardio. If it's really true, then I have to make sure that I do my part outside of class. Four-and-a-half weeks of sculpting, combined with my cardio homework, should make for a really happy ending to this story!

After class, I put air in the tires of my dusty jogging stroller and took my son to the park for a four-mile jog/walk. He loves it when I run. I love it when he puts his arms up in the air and says "WEEEEEEE!" I don't love it when I have to walk because feel like I'm about to have a heart attack and he starts screaming, "Mommy run!" But I always catch my breath.
"MOMMY RUN!"


Saturday: As much as it killed me to hear Leandro's voice, I managed to do a 30-minute Brazil Butt Lift DVD workout. I can't say that my intensity was very high, but I did it. After the 30-minute butt blast, I returned to my old pal Chalene and banged out a 45-minute cardio & ab workout with weights and the stability ball. Oh Chalene, you'll always be my workout go-to girl. 

40 days to go...

2 comments:

  1. dude, you lost 4 lbs in one week!!!
    you are my HERO!

    ReplyDelete
  2. In my own particular food regime, I am allowed 10 - 12 nuts as an inter-meal snack . . . calorically dense, they really take the edge off of any floating hunger . . . you could eat Brazilian nuts in honor of the Butt Master! Also: those things where you kick your feet back from a deadlift into a push-up? E-V-I-L. The RevABs DVD had me doing a harder variant of that mess, and I had to keep modifying it because it kept screwing with my back -- dangerous! The CrossFit kids call them -- seriously -- blurpies.

    ReplyDelete