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3.7.11 - Weigh-in day

Well, the day started great. I had a good night of sleep, I was still on my high from my awesome Saturday with Leandro, and when I woke up, I said, "This week I will push harder and dig deeper." I arrived at the gym, ready to take on the day. But first, time for weekly weigh-in. I didn't lose one stinking pound. Holding steady at 153.5. I'm a loser. Down, but not out, I hit the treadmill. I decide to run on a slight incline today because I OBVIOUSLY am not doing enough cardio and I deserve to be punished. My mood really got hit by the disappointment on the scale.
When I enter the studio, I see Leandro and head right over to him and say hi. He's smiley and sweet as he is every day before he starts the class and becomes the evil over-lord of butt mastery. I tell him immediately, with tears welling in my eyes, that I haven't lost any weight. He looks disappointed but just says, "You know what you gonna do. You gonna push harder today - every day." I nod and stop myself from having a complete emotional break-down. 

Before class, Leandro addresses us as a group. He announces that many of us have not only not lost weight, but have gained weight. He's pissed. He tells us to write an anonymous note detailing any and all cheating we're doing with the diet. He also wants us to write down any suggestions we have for improvements in the food. My only "cheating" was two bananas during the 6-day torture cleanse and last week, I drank a glass of V8 before class. Hardly seems worth mentioning, but I'll put it on my note anyway. This was also when we learned that people will be cut in the coming weeks. Please don't cut me. I'm not ready to be released into the real world! I think you have to really be cheating on the diet, obviously not exercising and generally taking advantage of the program to warrant getting the axe. Understandably, they don't want to waste time and money on test-subjects that aren't following the program the way it's meant to be followed. I just hope my lack of weightloss is due to PMS and not that I'm just a thunder-thighed lost cause...I'm feeling very sorry for myself.

The workout begins and immediately we are doing crazy hard cardio a la the first week of booty school. I am worried, but focused and pushing myself hard today. The exhausting arm-flailing cardio goes on for 35 minutes, then we move to weights and squats. Our weight choices are only 10 or 12 pound dumbbells. 10 for me please! We do a billion squats. Then walking lunges around the entire room, then more squats, then we hold just one weight on our chest with our elbows out to the side and do twisting leg raises, then a million more squats, then more walking lunges around the room. Then we put these resistance bands on our feet and hold our feet apart and shuffle back and forth - never closing our feet - which kills the outer thigh like you wouldn't believe. Then a million more weighted squats, then more resistance bands, then we lay on a mat on our backs while a partner stands above our head pushing our straight legs down to the floor for some excruciating ab work. Finally, it ends and I am so sore, but I actually felt like I pushed harder today. So there was a little bit of pride at the end of class.

Oh and the best part is, I learned that the measurements that were taken last week were wrong, so that inch I thought I lost on each thigh...nope, still there. But my chest is still two inches smaller. Great, no boobs but my giant ass and thighs are still here to keep me company. Can this day get any worse?

I get dressed and sulkily walk to the subway. On the way, I check my email and I see that I have an email from a friend who has just read all of my blog entries. 
She wrote (in all caps):
It was exactly what I needed at that exact moment. I wipe the tears from my eyes and board my train home. (Thank you RMCP)

Taking my sad self to bed now. Tomorrow will be a better day. Because I'll make it so.

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